Hello to you all again. I was touched by some of the comments left yesterday. Believe it or not I was planning on writing as HoneyDawn for a little longer! There were going to be some momentous events in the lives of Pratt, HoneyDawn and the rest! In anticipation of winding things up, since I may be pretty tied up time- wise in the near future, I was writing a draft for the final post, and instead of saving it I clicked on "publish" instead, without realizing it! So, HoneyDawn and her exploits have been brought to an abrupt end (I hadn't even checked over or finished the final draft post!)
I’m sure some people will be wondering why I chose to write a ludicrous blog about a subject like polygamy? Why the apparent trivialization of something that has such serious consequences in the lives of those participating? The blog really stemmed from feelings of powerlessness against the actions of some of the people, who had made, and still were making life hell for those close to me. Not being able to do anything concrete to change things, having to stand by and watch helplessly was getting me down. I needed a way to get back at them, a way to laugh at them - a therapeutic power trip of my own.
HoneyDawn is an appalling mixture of all those manipulative women wielding power in their own families through a blend of piety, feigned little girl helplessness and sugar coated malice. And dear Pratt – what a truly “awesome” guy he is! – a total windbag besotted with his own importance and knowledge, unable to resist a mindlessly adoring, scheming woman, looking up to him, hanging on his every word – even at the expense of the rest of the women and children in his life! All polygamists are not this crazy, but certainly all this craziness exists somewhere within polygamist communities! I just distilled all the idiocy into one narrative.
Duane, I’m not a Mormon hater, and I hope I’m not consumed by hatred of any group of people. There are wonderful people to be found everywhere, and there are bad people too. Unfortunately bad people thrive in closed societies. It’s not as easy as you may think, to simply "get away". There are some massive psychological and physical hurdles to clear. It took me years before I could bring myself to believe that my belief system really wasn’t God given. You have no idea what it is to believe that you may be consigning yourself to “outer darkness” by “walking away”. If you can get beyond that, imagine what it would be like if all your family was within your religious community, you had no money, perhaps no vehicle, many children, and apparently no one on the outside to whom you could turn? This is the position in which many women find themselves.
Well, some of you seem to have enjoyed the blog, and you have come to feel like friends, so the question is, should I complete the HoneyDawn saga, in true horrible HoneyDawn style or just answer your questions as myself? I'll let you decide.
Killing cats and dogs
1 year ago
20 comments:
I've enjoyed your blog too. I think a page has been turned with your most recent post. As a reader, and as someone who is interested in this situation, I'd much rather hear from you now, than HoneyDawn. Maybe that communication will help in some way.
I hope you don't mind if I just go ahead and ask you a question. You said:
"You have no idea what it is to believe that you may be consigning yourself to “outer darkness” by “walking away”."
This is a universal problem, that we all face. That is, nobody really wants to walk away from what they have, for fear it may be the only thing they will ever have. But what do you do, when you sense something is not right?
I think it would be painful to watch HoneyDawn in action now that the illusion has been broken. However, hearing from Harmonee might be very enlightening, both for us and for you. I think a lot of people have wanted to hear from her -- she seems to be a person of depth. ;)
Continue in your own voice, and don't stop.
I have truly enjoyed reading.
I would suggest that you don't stop blogging, if need be, just take a hiatus.
God Bless,
An Anonymous MD
NOW, this is a good blog post.
If you have such insider info it would be a great read to share that. Cause this is some serious shiz and maybe you could lend clarity.
I know I want you to continue to write, but I just can't decide whose voice I would like to hear it in.
I agree with Rebeckah that it could be painful to hear from HoneyDawn again. But I am hooked on the soap opera aspects. You have created a wonderful satire, you have made the characters REAL to us, and I want to know what happens next.
I mean no disrespect to you, i realise that this is your life, and in a way your therapy, not just cheap entertainment.
But you are a wonderful satirist, who brings laughter and a lot more truth than most commentaters to this issue.
I think there is still more for HoneyDawn to tell the world, but maybe Harmonee's voice added to the mix would balance it a bit.
Did your parents come in from "the world" like Harmonee's? And are they still in the group? Do you still speak to them?
Sorry, I can't stop asking questions for even one post.
Thankyou for everything.
Melissa xx
I don't know -I think question and answer will cause your unique site to end up becoming one of the following: an outlet for ex and current -polygamists like FLDS 101, Texas Polygamy or angry polygamist supporters like free the children or like sometimes angry anti-polygamy sites and/or anti-child marriage sites (like SLT).
You had a unique site - I know that I have had a very hard time wrapping my head around the lives and feelings of those within the polygamist community. I found your spoof of HOneyDawn illuminating. It clearly had a ground in realness.
The problem with questions and answers is that the questions are probably don't come near to helping us on the outside understand because our questions will be the wrong ones.
Maybe the suggestion to continue as Harmonee would be good.
hellohellogoodbye
Its good to continue in your own voice.
Your response to "duane" was right on.
For months he has posted that there weren't child brides, then when he found out there were, no sex was proven, and when that fallacy fell too, he just stuck to his guns of ignorance shooting blanks.
Its good to see the doubters "PWNED" online and in public.
Continue in your own voice.
I am enjoying your postings.
How about both -- as yourself and as the character Harmonee?
Texas Twist
honeydawn, all societies have their fair share of craziness. Do you ever read the paper or visit CNN or Drudge?
About "closed societies", how closed are Mormon polyg "societies"? Lets take the FLDS as an example since they are considered the worst of the worst. They go skiing, many were selling Amway, visit theme parks like Sea World, ride motorcycles, while they don't watch much TV they do go on the internet. Many are military veterans who served with honor in past wars.
Is it any more difficult for a polyg wife who wants out as compared to a "normal" monig housewife who has 3 kids and an abusive husband?
IMHO, an FLDS or AUB wife who chooses to "escape" will have far more lines of support than a monig wife who is trying to escape an abusive relationship.
duane
I was fascinated by this blog when I stumbled across it. HoneyDawn was such a well-developed character. I think you have a natural gift for fiction! Have you considered writing a novel about HoneyDawn? You show a very comprehensive understanding of the FLDS lifestyle. The satire rang true, and perhaps you could help others understand what you went through much better.
Anonymous said...
honeydawn, all societies have their fair share of craziness. Do you ever read the paper or visit CNN or Drudge?
About "closed societies", how closed are Mormon polyg "societies"? Lets take the FLDS as an example since they are considered the worst of the worst. They go skiing, many were selling Amway, visit theme parks like Sea World, ride motorcycles, while they don't watch much TV they do go on the internet. Many are military veterans who served with honor in past wars.
Is it any more difficult for a polyg wife who wants out as compared to a "normal" monig housewife who has 3 kids and an abusive husband?
IMHO, an FLDS or AUB wife who chooses to "escape" will have far more lines of support than a monig wife who is trying to escape an abusive relationship.
duane
January 24, 2010 10:56 PM
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Duane, you'll have to forgive me for not posting all of your comments as I really do not want to debate what has been thrashed out on other sites. To answer you fully would take probably several pages. I will say however that I already partially answered you when I spoke of the psychological hurdles that the average monogamist woman would not have to deal with. I do agree with you that it is very hard for any woman in any situation to leave, especially with children. You mentioned 3, how about 10?
Yes I do know there is craziness in many places - take a look at some of the comments left on my blog!
As to closed societies, yes I am sure that some groups go out and do things together. Warren battened down the hatches pretty hard for some of his people - even going out to restaurants was frowned upon. Schooling is often encouraged to be kept within the community, and it is very hard to make friends outside when you are trying to keep your lifestyle a secret, as many groups do, for fear of affecting jobs or inviting unwelcome attention etc.
The worst part has been, in the past (and I hope that is changing for some groups) that abuse problems were either ignored, or dealt with "in house", because of the fear of exposing themselves to the world. That meant that some people who should have gone to prison, stayed around to cause more harm.
As to resources. a lot of polygamist women can't leave to stay with their mothers or sisters or aunts,or even a friend as a monogamist lady might, because frequently all those relatives are in the group they are leaving. There are some resources, but a lot of women don't even know about them, which is a shame. I'm not sure those resources are as magnificent as you might imagine! Neither is the polygamist lifestyle as attractive as you may believe - not even for the men (at least not the decent ones)
Oh yeah, and to answer the duane question about cnn and drudge.
Yeah, we read about Tony Alamo, Jim Jones, Heavens gate on CNN and Drudge.
Aint it sad when people, women and children, are taken advantage of on a mass scale behind locked doors and gates?
Oh BTW, I don't find the idea of polygamy attractive to me one iota.
However, that doesn't mean we should roundup and arrest those whose lifestyles are unappealing to others.
I'm sure there are certain aspects to my lifestyle that you wouldn't find attractive and vice versa.
We shouldn't go around trying to impose our personal moral code on others.
duane
Duane...Duane (sigh) When have you heard me advocate rounding up and jailing anyone? As for imposing my morality on anyone else, we live in a society that is governed by law. Hopefully most laws are made for the protection of society. I hope that the law continues to protect children from being preyed upon and manipulated by adults. We often hear the term, "consenting adults" and I suppose I pretty much believe that what ADULTS do in private is their business, but when that strays into the depravity of drawing children into their nets, then jail is totally the right place to put these people.
The way in which polygamy affects children, even where there are no underage marriages involved, is one of the reasons I finally left. Children deserve better (and yes I know that monogamous marriages can also be a disaster, but its better to at least aim for the ideal, rather than starting with a handicap)
In Denmark drug use and prostitution have been legalized. Children are being born into families with drug addicted parents and the mother works in a brothel. If you chose to live in such a country I feel sorry for you and I would never choose to associate or condone such lifestyles. Polygamy has never existed in the United States as a legalized form of marriage, maybe duane you should try Denmark.
The world does not abide with bigamy for the most part, so duane you chosen a very small belief group to defend.
Jam Inn, Denmark is a 1st world country whose economy is doing quite well in spite of all dem drugs and hookers.
Hey, did you hear about the Copenhagen mayor distributing flyers in the hotels warning the Global Warming attendees about visiting the local prostitutes?
The sex workers retaliated by offering freebies to any customer who presented a copy of said flyer. Hehehe!
Honeydawn, that statement about "rounding them up" was a general statement and not against you personally.
duane
Duane,
Maybe you should spend less time reading about sex workers and polygamy, and more time reading something intellectually stimulating and uplifting. Just a thought.
Duane, Pratt says he only put up your letter cus hes thinking it pretty much shows whats in your mind and he says the economy in Denmarks not got much to do with any of this, or what those galsre doing there! Hes thinking you might be liking it all to much!
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